Grieving the Loss

We traveled out to the villages this morning to teach our first crop diversification class.  After we made our last turn, spread across the road at the entrance to the village, we noticed long, leafy willow branches and a little red flag planted in a field just to the side of the road.  A little distance ahead, we could see another branch spread across the road. Between these two branches someone had died.  Bicyclists passing along the road respectfully dismounted and silently passed through the village.  Pedestrians along the way also slowed their pace and moved silently along.

As we turned into the compound where about twenty people had gathered, we noticed a somber mood, and when we got out of our vehicle, greetings were in hushed tones.  I shook hands with each one and expressed our deepest sympathies. All the while, a blending of mournful wails was coming from a home a short distance away, sometimes soft, then rising till it seemed to fill the compound. I asked a friend, Eunice, if the person who died was someone George and I knew.  She said,"Yes, it was Olive, one of the women in your Bible study who lost her 1 year old baby last night." With no warning, tears poured down my face, and I wept. 

In a few moments, I asked if I could visit with the mother to express my personal sympathies, so Eunice took me to the home.  A few men were sitting silently outside the home on the little porch and along an outer wall.  Several women were sitting along the walls, on the dirt floor of the tiny sitting room. I sat down in an available space on the floor by them. I was overwhelmed by the mother's grief, and I bowed with my face down and wept with her and the other women for some time.  Then I reached for the mother's hand and told her how sorry I am for her loss.  She didn't speak, but looked up at me and nodded her understanding.  

Then I said, "Your precious baby is with Jesus now where he will be cared for.  He can't come back to you, but one day you will see him again when you go to be with Jesus." Again, she nodded her understanding.  Again I reached for her hand and said, "We want to help with your expenses for the funeral," and I slipped her some money.  She was very thankful.  I asked, "Is there anything else we can do for you today?"  She said, "Please pray for me."  Again, I bowed and prayed for God's presence to be with her and His peace.  I prayed for Him to comfort her heart and to help her through this difficult time.

When I returned to where I had left George talking with some of the men, one of the women said,  "Thank you for helping with the funeral.  This woman is very poor and had no money for the funeral."  It is common in Malawian culture for individuals to spend all one has on funerals and weddings, and many go into debt to pay for these expenses.  We are thankful we could help her. 

I asked how long the child had been sick, and we were told the baby had become ill with fever and diarrhea two days ago. The mother then took him to the closest clinic, a 45 minute walk from her home. The clinician gave him a shot and some pain medicine and sent him home. He seemed to gain a little strength, then in the middle of the night, he became much worse and  lost consciousness.  The mother then took him to the hospital in town, where he was pronounced dead.  

What a tragic loss. I grieve with those who are grieving this family's loss, but when I heard the sequence of events leading up to his death, I was convinced that the child died from a lack of appropriate and timely medical interventions. 

Medically, the  child died from diarrhea and loss of fluids that continued over a period of two days, but what actually killed him was a failed, ill-equipped, and often indifferent health care system. A simple ORS (oral rehydration solution), made from 1 liter of water, 6 level teaspoons of sugar, and half a teaspoon of salt can easily be made. 

One half liter of ORS per day administered to a toddler restores body fluids and electrolytes and stops diarrhea and vomiting.  Something this simple could have saved this baby's life. The loss of this child's life is an immeasurable tragedy, but knowing the child could have been saved grieves my heart. 

There have been many times when George and I were "just at the right place at the right time" to intervene in some really bad situations. Many times we have prayed for individuals,  and God healed them. Many times we helped people get medical care just at the right time. 

I think of an elderly gentleman in the village, Gray. I will never forget the time we were flagged down as we drove through his village.  Gray could not stand, could not walk or talk. He was drooling and thrashing about and did not have control of his body.  Some people carried him by his arms and legs from his house to our vehicle. 

At the hospital, he was diagnosed with meningitis. We were told later that he would have died if he had not gotten medical care when he did.  None of these events are because we are great.  It is because our great God privileged us to be the answer to their prayers so we can bring Him glory. 

I believe God uses us, not because we are great, but because He knows we direct praise, glory, and honor to God, who alone deserves it.  I will always be thankful for those times when I can say, "It was God!"   

But now... this little one is suddenly gone, and that young mother's heart is breaking.  In my heart I think,  "If only we had known... If only we were there."

As I have thought on these things I have come to this conclusion: God is sovereign, and all of our lives are in His hands. If I pray for someone and they are healed or if someone's life is saved, I certainly can take no credit, and none of the praise is mine. My role is simply to be obedient to God. Ultimately I must rest in the assurance that the outcome is under God's sovereign rule.  

My prayer: "I want to be available to you, Lord, in every situations and obedient in the smallest details, so I will not miss opportunities to represent you well on this earth. Most of all, may I never seek praise for myself so my life will always bring you honor. May I always trust you to do what is best. Amen."